I have a friend in desperate need for help/legal advice. Below is a shortened version of what is going on. We desperately need advice......if you can't post a comment, and you would like to offer advice, look to the right of my side bar and click on "email me" to send me a message. She is in another state and I feel so helpless and she feels like she is at the end of her rope :( So please don't think bad of me for putting this on our adoption blog. I am hoping and praying that someone out there can help her!
My friends husband of 20 some years confessed last year to having an affair. During their visits with a therapist she discovered that he had multiple affairs throughout their marriage. They are going through a divorce now and he hired the most nasty, most crooked lawyer in the area. When he left he pretty much wiped out their savings. She barely had any money to hire a lawyer and have day to day expenses to live for her and her daughter. Her lawyer has mentioned nothing about this in court to the judge. She left her career 19 years ago when they had their first child. They also have a daughter who is 8 years old and has special needs. She was a very dedicated wife who supported his career as a major airline pilot. This crazy man pushed and pushed in court for her to go and get a job. So she found a job in another state doing the same career path that she had previously in their marriage. Her lawyer told her that it should be fine if she moved out of state and take her daughter with her and that there was a small chance that the judge would not allow her to do it. So she went to court and they told the judge that she had found a job back in her home state, where she would have family support to help her with her daughter so that she could work. The judge said no way and temp. awarded her husband their daughter and that he could move back into the house. So that day she was left with NOTHING. She can't move back to their state to be awarded custody bec. he was temp. awarded the house and she would have nowhere to live and no job. Their divorce isn't final and they are supposed to go to court very soon.
Here's the kicker, her lawyer emailed her yesterday and told her that he is pulling out of her case and that she needs to "find a lawyer that she could trust". OK, so I have been telling her for months that her lawyer had to be getting paid by her husband to do NOTHING for her in court...which is exactly what he has done....NOTHING FOR HER, NOTHING! They have gone to court a couple of times already and it was like her pig husband and pig lawyer had all control. They told lie after lie and her lawyer would say NOTHING!! Her lawyer stopped returning her calls last week and then he sends her an email yesterday saying that he is pulling himself out of the case. Does this sound to you like he was being paid by someone to not defend her at all?? She has already paid this man thousands and thousands of dollars and is down to nothing in her bank account to go and start over and hire another lawyer! I asked her could she get her court date changed since her lawyer backed out on her and she said that in divorce court you can't do anything without a lawyer. She has no money and no lawyer to help her. She says that he is going to get EVERYTHING they owned and their daughter. He told her a couple of months ago that he would be the last one laughing. How can this happen? What do poor people do who can't afford a $20,000 lawyer fee? Do they just sit back and lose everything? Do you think she has the right to demand all of her money back from the lawyer who conveniently pulled himself off of her case? I am wondering if he feels guilty and that is why he said find someone you can trust.
What can she do? She needs help and I have no clue how to help her. We don't live in the same state and I feel helpless here. If I had money I would go and help her find a new lawyer...but I don't have that kind of money.OH and he was ordered to pay her alimony for three months and then they would review it again. So he paid his 3 months and stopped. It was never brought up again for review and he has paid nothing more to her! I just don't understand how a judge could allow this crap to happen ... whose side is he on??
So for those of you that pray, would you please pray for her to have wisdom and that God would help her through this? She is devastated without her daughter. She called me crying and delirious last night after her lawyer sent her that email. I am really worried for her right now and I am praying that she doesn't do anything to harm herself to get rid of all the pain she is in. She and her daughter were stuck together like glue before all of this happened. They had a really tight bond and I am sure that her little girl is devastated by not being able to see her mommy. PLEASE PRAY FOR THEM! My heart is breaking for them. :(
6 comments:
The sad but true fact is that in divorce cases the person with the money wins. The court is under no obligation to make sure that both sides have legal representation. Most states have a legal aide office, she can try there. If she gets lucky she may find some zealous young attorney eager to fight for the underdog.
I'm so sorry to read this about your friend. My mom went through a similar time when divorcing my step father. In Canada there is a service called legal aide that you can call and have a lawyer represent you for next to nothing if anything, I think it is based on your income. The sad part is there are lawyers out there who just wouldn't be excited by a divorce case and could just drop a person leaving them hanging dry like that. It happened to my mom the night before her custody hearing. I stood up for her at only 17. All I had was a measly law class in high school but had witnessed first hand the abuse and testified that in court. I am not sure at all how this works in the states though, I am in Canada. I will pray for your friend, I hope you are able to help her figure something out!
I'll be praying for her. I have no idea about legal advice, but she may find that media interest will be useful - either for the lawyer or for the husband. It'd certainly shame them both, and it'd hurt the lawyer where it'd hurt him bad - the wallet! People won't go to a lawyer they know is crooked. And people often donate to that kind of thing.
I'll be praying for her. I have no idea about legal advice, but she may find that media interest will be useful - either for the lawyer or for the husband. It'd certainly shame them both, and it'd hurt the lawyer where it'd hurt him bad - the wallet! People won't go to a lawyer they know is crooked. And people often donate to that kind of thing.
I'm a lawyer but don't practice family law so unfortunatley have no substantive advice. I would STRONGLY suggest however that she contact her state's bar. First- she likely would be eligible for legal aid or pro bono work from another (hopefully more competent) lawyer. Secondly, she could file a complaint against her counsel that dropped her if it is warranted.
I am so sorry for this situation. This type of thing makes me want to cry- our legal system is supposed to be about justice.
Thanks for all of the replies! Jenn, I tried to leave a comment on your blog asking you if you would mind emailing my friend, but I don't think it went through. If you see this message would you email me or my friend. Her email is lovemesomerain @ aol.com (without the spaces) and her name is Leah. Thanks!
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